Blue Christmas, again

I was interested to read here http://www.ottawa.anglican.ca/blue.shtml:
"We send out an 'Invitation' to the service to all immediate family members of those who have had funerals/memorial services in the church in the past two years"

For some reason, I thought that since this is the second Christmas after my mother died (and not the first!), that it would not be a problem for me. I was so relieved when March came around this year, and felt very much that the first year was the hardest. But that doesn't mean that there won't be hard things about other years!

A few nights ago, I just suddenly had tears streaming down my face. I was thinking about Sheridan Street and Aunt Joann and Uncle Reggie and Mama.

I know that even if I were right there in Portland, I would stil miss these people and places. They are just not there any more. (Well, technically, 89 and 100 Sheridan Street are there, but our family no longer lives there!)

One of the hardest things for me is not being with my family while they are mourning. Tim and the kids love me and try to help, but of course they can't really understand in the way that only Danny, Bobby, Reggie, Debbie, Mary-Kay, Andy, and Katherine can. We 8 are more like brothers and sisters than cousins, and we mourn our 3 parents together.

And now Elvis is singing "Blue Christmas" at the http://www.accuradio.com/holidays/ Old-Fashioned Christmas channel!